Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Gothic Nightmares

Ever hear the one about the deranged movie star who clung with Apollonian vanity to the fading vestiges of stardom, imprisoning a tender young up-and-comer in a desperate final bid to win back a fickle public?

If you haven't, you can hear it now. Twice. First, Glenn Close has signed to reprise her role as Norma Desmond in a film musical of Sunset Boulevard. The musical, of course, was based on one of the greatest American movies of all time, though considering the adaptation is by Andrew Lloyd Webber, I have a feeling that it is not one of the greatest American musicals of all time. True, Norma's signature track, number, "As Though We Never Said Goodbye," is pretty enough, and Glenn's performance at the Tonys in 1995 was memorable. I love Glenn. I'm excited that she's been crawling back into the spotlight with the current arthouse release Heights, even though I'll be stunned if the movie is better than mediocre.

Perhaps, however, someone can explain to me how Ewan McGregor and Hugh Jackman have both signed on as co-stars? Assuming the musical is reasonably close to the film, I can't think of who the second younger man could be....

Meanwhile, also ready for their closeups are the increasingly ghoulish Tom Cruise, his zombie betrothed, and her "Scientology chaperone." Whaaa?? The indomitable Safire tipped her readers off to this hot-off-the-press W Magazine interview with the brainwashed ingénue itself. I swear, the photo you see at left is a still from the W photo spread, not from the upcoming Tim Burton animated opus The Corpse Bride. Seriously. I wouldn't lie about this.

How did Katie Holmes go so quickly from being the interesting upstart making smart, durable choices—Go, Wonder Boys, The Ice Storm—into this empty-headed vessel of pre-teen bubble-gum babble? How is anyone gon' sign up for a "religion" in which it is a recognized practice for the most devoted worshippers to commit themselves to the church for a period of a billion years? Seriously, read the article.

TomKat is more than a celebrity flare-up. It is genuinely grotesque, a real-life invasion of the body snatchers, except that "real life" doesn't really seem to play into it, anywhere. I continue to maintain that Tom Cruise is not gay, and I had George Michael pegged back in the days of Faith, so listen up, scouts. The 'dar is not pinging. Actually, that pinging sound you keep hearing is just the echo that results when a gust of air blows into Tom Cruise's ear.

So that is the big state secret: Tom Cruise isn't gay, he's just monumentally cocooned inside a narcissistic mental matrix of his own making, and now he has kickstarted the solenoids inside his greatest creation, a woman who says nothing except "I love you, Tom," in the manner of a parrot...which, come to think of it, was the same manner in which Katie delivered her performance in Batman Begins. Maybe that's the secret nature of their blood pact: she won't tell anyone that he's crazy like a platypus, and he won't fess up that she, under all the makeup, is not a humanoid at all, but a trained bird.

If Tom® and Katie™ want to go make sweet, naïve, plasticine, new-money, mumbo-jumbo, Mattel-style love under the polestar of L. Ron Hubbard, then let them have at it. But so long as they're chilling in outer space, could they send us back one of those cool memory-wipers from Men in Black? I'm trying to forget that I ever took either of them seriously. And as for the future, Katie, when you pen your Little Girl Lost tell-all book about how you just had, like, no. idea. what it would feel like to have the whole Cruise® PR Machine crashing down on your every move, shadowing every flick of your diamond jewelry and every maniacal cackle emitted by your daddy-substitute, I. am. not. buying. it.

I don't even think this relationship is a "hoax," per se. I think it's what happens when dumb people fall in love, loudly, in front of microphones. It doesn't even count as a fatal attraction, or a dangerous liaison, and it's more than a reversal of fortune, and more than a big chill. To use the only Glenn Close title that applies in this context, this is what it looks like when Mars attacks. Or, to plunder Katie's own filmography, this is straight-up Disturbing Behavior.

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10 Comments:

Anonymous tim r said...

Isn't it more like First Daughter with added incest? Never fear, though, Le divorce will be on its way within a year or two...

2:03 AM, July 12, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are killing me--i can't stop laughing, re tom c is "crazy as a platypus."

and what's with the vacant deer caught in headlights look on the cover of W? [better yet, what is with W in general--on top of the bride of cruisenstein pic, i'm still recovering from the brad/angelina photoshoot.] i hope chris klein is somewhere having a tumbler of scotch and laughing his ass off.

there's only one good thing that comes of the TomKat union: they make all the other crazy celebrities look totally normal

Britney & the video for her Christian ballad "God has a plan for me & my baby, so I will survive when Kevin decides to leave me for lindsey lohan"--totally normal (even with the Virgin Mary halo imagery); If y'all have not seen this, go to mtv.com right now and look for "Someday"

Ben Affleck has gained a whole new level of credibility after the PR nightmare that is the TomKat machine. I think TomKat is paving the way for Ben's comeback....

Brad, Angelina, & all the world's orphans: totally normal & humanitarian to boot (great post, by the way, safire!)

~~ladyshazizzle, who needs to spend more time writing her dissertation than watching mtv videos online and obsessing over careers of hollywood zombies.

PS--I watched the Missy "Lose Control" video again last night & I don't think I'm hallucinating. I really think Tommy Lee pops out of a trash can.

8:52 AM, July 12, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am crying I am laughing so hard, N.... I think you hit the nail right on the head, putting into words exactly what I think of the TomKat situation. Absolutely, without-a-doubt, BIZARRO. I esp loved watching her sit like a stepford wife off to the side during the infamous Matt Lauer interview. :) jenn

10:32 AM, July 12, 2005  
Blogger Self-hating Angelino said...

Somewhere in the universe, James Van Der Beek is kicking himself.

4:31 PM, July 12, 2005  
Blogger summer m. said...

i just wanna say that picture of katie holmes is friggin skary as hell.

11:03 AM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger Dr. S said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:39 PM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger Dr. S said...

did you see this?

Swank, Costner to Narrate Sept. 11 Film

- - - - - - - - - - - -

July 15,2005 | NEW YORK -- Hilary Swank and Kevin Costner will narrate the upcoming film "On Native Soil: The Documentary of the 9/11 Commission Report."

The actors will share voice-over duties for the feature-length film on the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks, directed by former NBC News producer Linda Ellman.

"I was in lower Manhattan that horrible day" when the World Trade Center collapsed, Swank said in a statement Friday. "I was drawn to the project by the amazing stories of the 9/11 families and survivors featured in the film, and I am proud that by contributing my voice to the project, I can help their voices to be heard."

"On Native Soil" will tell five stories of survival and examine the 9/11 Commission's final recommendations. The film features interviews with people such as the victims' families, Sen. John McCain, a former FBI counterterrorism official and the former head of the CIA's Osama bin-Laden desk.

"I saw this film in a rough cut and wanted to become involved," said Costner. "It's honest, it's serious and it's not political. This film tells stories every American will and should want to know."

9:40 PM, July 15, 2005  
Anonymous nick said...

i believe you are mistaken, it was between mcgregor and jackman for the role of joe gillis and it went to megregor. jackman has not been cast.

12:47 AM, July 17, 2005  
Blogger Nick Davis said...

Ah, thanks, Nick. The more recent articles on the web are clearer on this point than the first ones. (Though I'm sure some of the early ones had their facts straight to begin with and I misread them.)

1:01 AM, July 17, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Program on the emergence of civilization.

"14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.
13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa.
None from the sub-Saharan African continent. "
Favor.
And disfavor.

They point out Africans’ failed attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it's applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.

The roots of racism are not of this earth.

Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals.

The North American continent had none. Now 99% of that population is gone.

AIDS in Africa.


Organizational Heirarchy/Levels of positioning.
Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:

1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as "god"
2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management
3. Evil/disfavored aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere

Terrestrial management/positioning:

4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds
5. Romans - The seamless transition between Cleopatra and Julius Ceasar may be a clue alluding to a partnership.
6. Mafia - the real-world 20th century interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality
7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.


Movies foreshadowing catastrophy
1985 James Bond View to a Kill 1989 San Francisco Loma Prieta earthquake.


Our society gives clues to the system in place. We all have heard the saying "He has more money than god." There is also an episode of the Simpsons where god meets Homer and says "I'm too old and rich for this."

This is the system on earth because this is the system everywhere.

20 cent/hour Chinese labor, 50 cents for material.
An $80 sweater costs less than a dollar; tribute kicked upstairs vindicates the creative accounting.

I don't want to suggest the upper eschelons are evil and good is the fringe. But these individuals become wealthy exploiting those they hurt.

They have made it abundantly clear that doing business with evil (disfavored) won't help people. They say only good would have the ear, since evil is struggling for survival, and therefore only the favored could help.

The clues are there which companies are favored and which are disfavored, but they conceal it very hard because it is so crucial.

I offer an example of historical proportions:::

People point to Walmart and cry "anti-union".
Unions enable disfavored people to live satisfactorly without addressing their disfavor. This way their family's problems are never resolved. Without the union they would have to accept the heirarchy, their own inferiority.
Unions serve to empower.
Walmart is anti-union because they are good. They try to help people address and resolve their problems by creating an environment where there are fewer hurdles.

Media ridicule and lawsuits are creations to reinforce people's belief that Walmart is evil in a subsegment of the indistry dominated by the middle and lower classes.
Low-cost disfavored Chinese labor is utilized by corporate america to maximize margins. They all do it. Only WalMart gets fingered because they are the ones who help, and those who seek to create confusion in the marketplace want to eliminate the vast middle class who have a real chance and instead stick with lower classes who may not work otherwise. So they dirty him up while allowing the others to appear clean.

The middle class is being deceived. They are being misled into the unfavored, and subsequently will have no assistance from their purchases with corporate america.

The coining of the term "Uncle Sam" was a clue alluding to just this::Sam Walton's WalMart is one of few saviors of the peasant class.

They desire a system based on duality:::good and evil. They seek to set up a system of two participants and assign them polar opposites:::
Coke and Pepsi (?)
BestBuy and CircutCity
Energizer and Duracell
Republican and Democrat
The list goes on:::
AMD and Intel
Microsoft and Apple (?)
Lowes and HomeDepot
Sam'sClub and Costco
WellsFargo and BofA
Pier1 and CostPlus
Borders and Barnes&Noble
PetCo and PetSmart
And in other cases attempts to eliminate the third competitor failed:::Chrysler, attempts to downgrade Miller beer to low cost like they did Olympia.


Amercia is a country of castoffs, rejects. Italy sent its criminals, malcontents.
Between the thrones, the klans and kindred, they decided who they didn't want and acted, creating discontent and/or starvation.
The u.s. is full of disfavored rejects. It is the reason for the myriad of problems not found in European countries. As far as the Rockafellers and other industrialists of the 19th century go, I suspect these aren't their real names. I suspect they were chosen to go and head this new empire.

Royalty is the correct way to organize a society. Dictatorships and monarchies are a reflection of the antient's hierarchical organization.
Positions go to those who have favor with the rulers, as opposed to being elected.
Elections bring a false sense of how the world is. Democracy misleads people.
Which is why the disfavored rejects were sent to the shores of America::To keep them on the wrong path.


Jewsus Christ is a religious figure of evil. He teaches of a begnign, forgiving god when quite the opposite is true.
The seperatist churches formed so they could capture the rest of the white people, keeping them worshipping the wrong god.
And now they do it to disfavored people of color, Latinos and Asians, after centuries of preying upon them.

Since Buddism doesn't recongnize a god, the calls are never heard, and Asian representation is instead fully selected by the thrones.
Budda was the Asian's Jewsus Christ::: bad for the people. It was a clue they both emerged at the same time. Timing may be a clue alluding to ranking.

Simpson's foreshadowing::Helloween IV special, Flanders is Satan. "Last one you ever suspect."
"You'll see lots of nuns where you're going:::hell!!!" St. Wigham, Helloween VI:::missionary work, destroying cultures.
Over and over, the Simpsons was a source of education and enlightenment, a target of ridicule by the system which wishes to conceal its secrets.

The advent of the modern Christmas was a brilliant move. It creates a vested interest among those who would prefer the Church of Evil be destroyed::::
As goes the Catholic Church so goes the majority of annual retail sales.
The similarity between the names "Santa" and "Satan" is no coincidence.

Jews maim the body formed in the image of "god", and inflicted circumcision upon all other white people.
I think about how Jews (were used to) created homosexuality among Slavics, retribution for the Holocaust.
Then I think of the Catholic Church and its troubles.
What connection is here between Jews and the Catholic church???
If it is their sinister motives that’s behind the evil that is Jesus Christ are they being used at all?
Perhaps it is them who are pulling strings.
Their centuries of slavery in Egypt proves their disfavor.
For their suffering the Jew leaders were granted the right to prey on the up-and-coming Europeans to try to fix their problems with the ruling elite, a recurring aspect of the elite's methodology.
Jews were ostracised for a reason.


Retribution for the atomic bombs dropped on Japan, the Korean War got the disfavored United States into this socially depraved environment in the latter 20th century because we attacked an antient, revered peoples. Our continued presence keeps us in trouble.
When the disfavored americans attack the wrong people again, as they suggested they will, in Korea or elsewhere, they will pay dearly.


All peoples are ranked in terms of favor and disfavor. And when the disfavored abuse those with favor there is hell to pay.
All the groups mentioned throughout are necessary to justify the will of the managing species. They conceive a strategy, devise a plan yet need a way to implement it, and without these groups the managing species would be exposed in the course of execution. So, based upon their rank they are assigned goals to accomplish and are rewarded with favors.

11:45 AM, December 21, 2005  

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