 My friends and I review the titles in high, brassy style.
My friends and I review the titles in high, brassy style.
The 48th Cannes Film Festival opened on May 17, 1995, with the gala premiere of Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro's 
The City of Lost Children.  My own 
20th-anniversary return to that year's lineups will also begin on May 17, which is two weeks from tonight.  No time like the present, then, to introduce you to the game, rambunctious, movie-mad colleagues who will be jumping with me into the time machine and leveling judgments at films I 
either half-remember or never saw at all.  Though we're unquestionably as chic as 
last year's congress, we've humbly elected to let our work speak for itself rather than rely on our collective beauty to entice you into this imminent, unfolding feature.
Ivan Albertson is well-known to any Chicago filmgoer: if he isn't 
tearing your ticket, he's probably sitting with you in the audience, or may 
even have 
programmed the especially delicious and hard-to-find titles you're about to enjoy. Ivan sees more movies than anyone I know, maintaining both a high bar and a wide-ranging taste; he is intimidating both in his expectations and his generosity, and it's never clear in advance when or how fully we'll agree. You can keep up with his thoughts during or after Cannes on 
Letterboxd. He also called the Siskel staff behind my back and 
had them do this as a kicky surprise before the screening we recently attended of 
Good Men, Good Women, so I worship him even more than before.
Tim Brayton of 
Antagony and Ecstasy is, as many of you know, a confoundingly prolific and engaging writer of long-form movie reviews. His work arcs across current releases, pet genres and traditions (from Disney fables to slasher films), and month-by-month obsessions (from Tarkovksy to Tyler Perry). He is a recent 
festival juror, a 
Film Experience regular, and ...Tim, can I spoil your other big news? Tim agrees not to judge me for buying a DVD of 
The Descendants, which I loathed, just because it got Oscar nominations, and I agree not to perform an intervention when he goes to see, e.g., 
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 because he think it's snobby when critics disdain to see what folks are out there paying to watch. He's also amidst a 
fundraising drive you should consider donating to.
Alex Heeney (
Twitter) is two of my favorite types of cinephile: the kind based in Toronto, and the kind who does something totally different during the day. She's a Stanford Ph.D. candidate in Industrial Engineering, with an emphasis on confronting structural quandaries related to food waste and climate change. Raise your hand if you're doing that much to better the world...  Hmmm?  Nobody?  Alongside all this, Alex manages to review film, theater, and music at her website 
The Seventh Row, which, like Tim's, leaves me agog at both the scale and caliber of commentary. She'll also be in 
actual Cannes while slumming around our faux one. Citizen of the world, that one.
Amir Soltani (
Twitter) co-hosts and co-edits the podcast 
Hello Cinema with Tina Hassannia, which you should really start listening to if you already know a lot about Iranian film, or if you know a little but wish you knew more, or if you don't know anything and recognize that this is a failing on your part. (Sorry: tough love. And for real, why are you denying yourself?) Amir, like Alex, is based in Toronto and is paid to do something completely different than reviewing movies, and I hope he's really good at that other thing, because he's great at 
reviewing movies. A regular presence at 
The Film Experience, he organizes all our 
internal polls, which is more like herding cats than you'd guess.
Ed.: The fabulous foursome above turned out to be my accomplices. As the personal king of biting off more than I can usually chew, I expected some attrition.  Even though they had to bow out of the time machine just before we closed the hatch, you should still be following these folks if you don't already! —
Guy Lodge (
Twitter)
 wears nattier cardigans, cooks more titillating tarts, and maintains 
finer facial-hair grooming than any other film critic on the net, in 
addition to soliciting more revealing and genial conversation from Andie
 MacDowell than you have, or I have.  He writes mostly for 
Variety now with a side-gig at 
The Guardian and a distinguished past we all recall with deep yearning at 
HitFix,
 née In Contention. Though I tend to require a tighter CV than that for 
contributors to this site, I've decided on this one occasion to let it 
pass. (No picking on Guy if his packed spring itinerary of real-world 
reviewing means he has to bow out.)
Angelo Muredda (
Twitter) is another dapper Torontonian, or perhaps I should say another chic 
Torontoist. I first started reading his work at 
Film Freak Central, where the hits just don't stop coming. Those guys just know the 
game.
 Every game. You're reading them all, right? Angelo's movie writing 
shows up lots of other places, and he has a better batting average of 
funny tweets
 than almost anyone in this racket. He's also getting ever-closer to 
that Ph.D. in Canadian literature, and is thus a man after my own heart,
 proving that academics aren't all immured in library stacks (which, by 
the way, there's nothing wrong with), speaking only to each other 
(which, I'd wager, there is). 
Tim Robey (
Twitter) remains the 
film critic
 I'd want to be if I had a) stuck with a long-ago aspiration to write 
movie reviews for a major daily paper, b) actually gotten such a gig, 
and c) proved to be sublimely good at it, week after week. He makes 
shrewder points than I do in sentences shorter than I can manage. I 
don't know why I keep evoking myself. I think I enjoy being in sentences
 with him.  He's my annual roommate at TIFF, where he sometimes asks me 
to vet his drafts, even though all I ever do is cut very severe bangs 
and say, "You've done it, Robey. You've cracked it wide open." Like Alex
 and Guy, Tim will be offering real-time dispatches from 
this year's Croisette, so any energy he expends here I extra-appreciate.
Sarah Turner has survived what nobody else on this list has even attempted, i.e., taking one of my classes. She was consistently brilliant talking and writing in academic registers about gender, sexual, and racial politics in contemporary sci-fi features and is just as consistently brilliant writing to a mass audience about everything the 
Pop Insomniacs can throw at her, including pieces I especially liked about 
Dear White People and 
Mr. Turner (no relation), and all the weekly reviews of 
Mad Men I can't read yet because I've only ever seen 1.5 episodes. Those are all rich, chewy texts, but when you can whip up interesting thoughts about 
Mike Epps' AOL series, you've arguably shown your chops even more. I don't know who's out there trying to hire young, interesting, eclectic writers, but I didn't plead for her to participate and offer her this platform for my health, okay? Managing editors? Talent scouts?
I hope you're all as excited as I am for what this crew has to say about the 
1995 Cannes Film Festival, from the best and brightest to 
Beyond Rangoon. (Honestly, is that even a spoiler?)  Keep checking back.
Oh, and what's that?  I have a 
whole other jury assembled of research specialists and published film writers with targeted insights to drop about specific titles along the way?  I've offered you Iron Man, Thor, the Black Widow, Hawkeye, Captain America, and all the others above (you can work out who's who...), and that's only 
half the tally of Cannes Avengers I've got working on the case?  What??? [/Teaser]
 He seriously set this whole thing up and I didn't even know.
He seriously set this whole thing up and I didn't even know.Labels: Blog Buddies, Cannes 95, Site Features