Don't Phunk with My Ph.D.

All right, y'all, sorry for the si longue absence, but we're back to Zero Hour, and I've been revising, extending, reordering, copy-editing, and even retitling this dissertation to suit the needs of my committee and get ready for Dissertation Defense 2.0, which is supposed to go down tomorrow at 3:00. We're up to 332 pages now. I swear to you, the only things this dissertation doesn't have at this point are a kitchen sink, a brand new bag, and a Scientology chaperone.

Loyal readers—and y'all really are loyal, if you're hanging in there through the Bad Period surrounding this dissertation defense... anyway, loyal readers know that funny things can happen on the way to a defense, so I'm just taking it on faith that I'm not going to get another dyspeptic 1:00 phone call. The air is weirdly quiet, like when the soldiers draw up to the shore of Guadalcanal at the beginning of The Thin Red Line. Is this a good or a bad thing? Nick can pick flicks, but his Dissertation 'Dar is not always, as we have seen, in perfect working order.

In fact, the only place it isn't really quiet right now is in my apartment, where Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" has sort of emerged as the official Dissertation Defense Theme Song – especially since, after the June episode, I really have been around this track a few times, and it's not just gonna happen like that again. Nick's rolling into the defense with a little bit of 'tude, I have to admit. I mean, this baby is not perfect: a little baggy, a little overwritten, stuff that could go here instead of there, etc. But as someone once said:


"I want to dance, I want to win, I want that trophy"

And as someone else once said, pardon my discourse, but
This Shit Is Bananas! [B-A-N-A-N-A-S!]

So, let's rock. Let's roll. I'll report in tomorrow night.