Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Don't Phunk with My Ph.D.

All right, y'all, sorry for the si longue absence, but we're back to Zero Hour, and I've been revising, extending, reordering, copy-editing, and even retitling this dissertation to suit the needs of my committee and get ready for Dissertation Defense 2.0, which is supposed to go down tomorrow at 3:00. We're up to 332 pages now. I swear to you, the only things this dissertation doesn't have at this point are a kitchen sink, a brand new bag, and a Scientology chaperone.

Loyal readers—and y'all really are loyal, if you're hanging in there through the Bad Period surrounding this dissertation defense... anyway, loyal readers know that funny things can happen on the way to a defense, so I'm just taking it on faith that I'm not going to get another dyspeptic 1:00 phone call. The air is weirdly quiet, like when the soldiers draw up to the shore of Guadalcanal at the beginning of The Thin Red Line. Is this a good or a bad thing? Nick can pick flicks, but his Dissertation 'Dar is not always, as we have seen, in perfect working order.

In fact, the only place it isn't really quiet right now is in my apartment, where Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" has sort of emerged as the official Dissertation Defense Theme Song – especially since, after the June episode, I really have been around this track a few times, and it's not just gonna happen like that again. Nick's rolling into the defense with a little bit of 'tude, I have to admit. I mean, this baby is not perfect: a little baggy, a little overwritten, stuff that could go here instead of there, etc. But as someone once said:

"I want to dance, I want to win, I want that trophy"

And as someone else once said, pardon my discourse, but
This Shit Is Bananas! [B-A-N-A-N-A-S!]

So, let's rock. Let's roll. I'll report in tomorrow night.



Blogger Dr. S said...

Yeah! Yeah! I'll do the response if you do the call!

This shit is bananas
b a n a n a s

It's 2 a.m. here in England, and I do hope that you post tomorrow to let us all know how you did, since I'm nowhere within reach of a phone (that I can afford to use) to call you and say CONGRATULATIONS. If I were around, I'd loan you my badass ring for luck. I've been working on Thomas Carlyle and John Ruskin all day, so I'm all grouchy-by-proxy and ready to lay down some law. Alas, I don't know how much of my law your committee would take. If I were even there to lay it down. So, I guess I'll stick with doing the bananas cheer with you.

much love,

8:03 PM, July 20, 2005  
Blogger Dr. S said...

Oh, also: someday will you do an imitation of that June phone call for me? That I'd like to hear.

9:04 PM, July 20, 2005  
Blogger summer of sam said...

i know that's your theme song and stuff. but i need to say that although i did like that stefani joint:

that shit is annoying! a-n-n-o-y-i-n-g!

that said defend you ass off, homie. do it for the children.

10:46 AM, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nick - remember me? Aron Katz alerted me to your big day and I came across your blog. Good luck! I represent all those people in the peanut gallery who you didn't even know were rooting for you.

I secretly like the Bananas song too.

3:56 PM, July 21, 2005  
Blogger Dr. S said...

hey kids, I'm fine -- I'm in Lancaster, far from London. at the conference, the organizers are figuring out ways to get participants in touch with London, if they don't have mobile phones of their own, but everything all the way up here is fine (touch wood).


3:59 PM, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I go out of town and come back to find...DR. Nick? Where's the news??

*fingers and toes crossed, singing some sort of siren song of success and splendor*

Estrellita :-)

8:29 AM, July 22, 2005  
Blogger NATHANIEL R said...

are you playing like a season cliffhanger game? Where we have to wait until the fall to find out?

Next Season on Dr. Nick...

11:33 AM, July 22, 2005  

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